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Sex positivity: what it means for you and me

What does it mean to be sex positive?

Despite being the 21st century, sex is still a taboo subject for many women. For a lot of us the only way we learned about sex is through classes called Family Life or other pro-abstinence classes at school. For others of us, our sex education came the hard way via back seats and sweaty awkward fumbling. I would liked to have sat down with my parents and talk about sex and my body and what happens to it but I never had that kind of rearing.

I had never heard the term “sex positive” until I came to Mills. I’m not sure if this is because it’s a relatively new term or if I just wasn’t in the right places to hear it discussed. As far as I can tell, sex positivity is a couple different things:

I think sex positivity has a lot to do with the ability to be an in open and welcoming space — however large that may be — and be able to speak about sexuality and your body, rather than keeping it hushed and repressed and one of those unspoken things we know about, but don’t really know about. This can often lead to confusion. How do women around our age not know what a cervix is?  Being sex positive is an affirming action that people take in order to be more comfortable in their own skin/vagina/whatever.

We can all affirm our sex positivity by accepting all sexes and genders and identities as valid; taking care of our bodies; being safe (protection, but also mentally safe) while engaging in sexual practices; acknowledge all kinds of sex consensual sex between adults as valid. Most importantly being Sex Positive means not treating sex as something weird or gross but as something normal.

I think it means you are aware of your sexuality. Sexuality means, sex like boom chica boom boom. It means being comfortable with yourself in the bedroom with your partner or alone. You should also be comfortable with sex meaning gender and how others choose to express that. Being comfortable in the skin you’re in. Being sex positive also means being aware of your rights as a sexual human being. Comfort with your skin is what I feel sex positivity means. Being sex positive for me means looking in the mirror everyday and saying “damn you are looking hella fioone”

It also means not saying “eww” as much