From the first moment I stepped onto the Mills College campus in 2016, I knew in my heart that Mills was the place for me. Walking across campus with a group of other potential students, I imagined grabbing lunches at the Tea Shop between classes, listening to the Campanil Bell Tower chime every 15 minutes, attending classes in the historic Mills Hall
They never could have predicted that even though I chose Mills, I would never walk the stage.
Attending college during a pandemic meant facing disappointment after disappointment, grappling with tragedy and loss every single day
Sometimes when I am consumed with dark thoughts about this last year, I find my hand motioning “command z” — the quick key for “undo” on computers. I imagine myself going “command z” to COVID-19 and living the life I was “meant” to live, the life that I had always imagined I would have. Sometimes I cannot fall asleep at night, obsessing over what “could have been” if the COVID-19 pandemic never happened. I wonder if I would have still moved in with my
I struggle with accepting that there’s no way to change the past.
I will never walk the stage for graduation like I thought I would. However, I will walk away from Mills College with a Bachelor of Arts in Art & Technology and a Bachelor of Arts in Communication. I will continue the close friendships I made. I will retain the knowledge I’ve gained through my classes, and through new experiences. I will always have my memories of better times and memories of making the best of any situation.
Joining the Campanil staff had been a dream of mine ever since I first arrived at Mills, and I am glad that I finally decided to become a copy editor in 2020. I feel proud that I worked in a team of kind and creative colleagues towards the common goal of keeping the Mills College community informed. Campanil staff meetings allowed me to stay updated on the ever-changing landscape and community of Mills College and to form bonds with fellow student journalists who I look up to. After I graduate, I will take with me all of the lessons I learned about journalism and writing as a copy editor.
When I think about this last year and when I reminisce on my last four years at Mills College, I am almost brought to tears by how grateful I am to my friends, family and professors for their endless support and kindness. Thank you to my friends Emma, Robin, Ethan, Kelly, Isa, Joey, Eileen, Stephanie, Bird and so many more. Thank you
I am eternally grateful to everyone who has supported me throughout my last four years at Mills College.
Thank you all.
– Grace Patterson