Press "Enter" to skip to content

Madam Misandry: the beginnings

There’s a certain expectation that comes along with being an Asian cisfemale on a dating site: white guys think they’re going to get laid. I’ve gotten messages that were explicit, even mentioning the Asian woman/white male trope. I could just as easily be disgusted with men, but instead, I decided to take it to a new level — engaging with said male, going so far as to, as some would call it, troll. For example, I received a message that said, “Would you like to fall on the sword and be my first Asian?”

I asked him, “In what universe has this ever worked?” He thought I was still down.

My goal was to annoy as many men as possible by being the most unwilling person in the world, insulting them and telling them how they’re wrong or how they used the wrong “your/you’re” form. This is not to show them up or anything, but to make light of the ridiculous ways guys try to get a girl into bed.

So I set up accounts on two platforms: OkCupid and Tinder. I know OkCupid as more of a site for, well, serious, non-ironic dating. That’s obviously not all that it could be used for, but it was a more straightforward site. Tinder, on the other hand, was for flings, booty calls, and — simply — sex.

This is a social experiment, turning the tables on males and treating them the way they would treat a woman. The responses are often hilarious, sometimes disappointing — but as is dating, isn’t it? There’s so many facets to dating that I often wonder, just what would happen if someone treats it as a total joke and does everything for the irony and laughs?

That brings me here, writing a column about the last six months I’ve spent on dating platforms and my misadventures in this world — some good, some bad. Will I actually end up with someone in the end? I don’t know. Will I even take the whole thing seriously? That’s probably the bigger question.

I’ve done some odd things to get out of a date, to break up with a boy, to schedule a date, to go on a date, everything. But all of that is for another column.

~Madam Misandry