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Madam Misandry: that got odd in a furry

An example of Madam Misandry's experience with a furry.
An example of Madam Misandry’s experience with a furry. (Photo credit: Madam Misandry)

Here’s the thing about furries: they show up when you least expect it. Furrying their way around the internet, entering your inbox, getting all up in your hair. Furries — people interested in anthropomorphic animals who act like humans  — are not people you would notice unless you see their tails.

So when a guy who goes by the name of “catlover19xx” sends you a message on OkCupid and says you should message him if “you want to let [him] take pictures of you. Preferably of you dressed as an animal,” you might brace for the worst.

At least, I did when this happened to me. Don’t let this happen to you.

Then there were a few other things from his messages that made my furry radar go off; he told me his favorite football team is the Bengals because they have a cat mascot.  Never mind the fact that his username has “catlover” in it despite the fact that he told me he has a dog and not a cat — that, I don’t think I’ll fully understand.

I asked him if he was a brony — male My Little Pony fans with an inkling towards the ponies, at the insistence of a friend, and he said, “Ha! No. I wonder if that’s why I usually never get replies to my messages.”

Well, catlover, I think it might also be because you want to take pictures of people dressed as an animal.

I, then, decided to just be straight up with him — “Are you a furry?” I asked.

“Aren’t they the same thing?” he said, referring to furries and bronies. “And no.”

He thought I was joking about asking him if he’s a furry. I wasn’t. I just really wanted to know if that’s why he likes people dressed as animals.

“Does my profile just scream sexual deviant, or do you just ask everyone that?”

No, I just expected someone looking for a furry to go to FurryMate or one of the dozen websites out there dedicated to the furry life. OkCupid seems more to be the tech bro’s go-to for meeting cisfemales. (There is a tech bro stereotype in here somewhere, I know it.)

After that, he started asking me questions about sexual fetishes that I had never even heard of before. But, of course, Rule 34: if it exists, there is probably porn of it. I stopped responding to his messages when I just sat at my laptop in disbelief over why I decided to respond to his messages in the first place. It’s one thing to see where things go, it’s another to just go towards the absurd.